gasp.

I think most of my peers have packed their stuff up already and moved on out to start their new lives in college, whether near or far. It’s the end of August, so yeah, most, if not all, of them are gone now.

As for me, I’m still at home for another two and a half weeks twiddling my thumbs and dreaming about when and how my college experience will begin. UChicago typically starts in mid-September, meaning I can take my time getting my dorm stuff and use the extra time to relax and have some time to myself (I’ve had about four months of summer vacation!).

Unfortunately, as I watch my friends leave and read the statuses about orientation or their excitement about meeting new people and going to university welcome events, a slight feeling of sadness and bitterness sweeps over me. While I’m very excited to start fresh in a new area with a new-found sense of freedom, it’s still hard for me to see everyone and everything that I’ve known for so long disappear in front of me. Fifteen years at Country Day which I thought were going to last for the rest of my life (and my parents felt the exact same way, too) have passed, and now I find myself gripping onto the memories of the only community I’ve really ever known.

I’ve never felt quite so lost in my life. With all the free time, I’ve found myself in a fury of thoughts and worries about the upcoming year. But they’re not school related.. I mean, I’m not worried about making friends at all or adapting to college workloads or lifestyles (aside from figuring out when to do laundry and clean my bathroom on my own…). Rather, I’m concerned about how to hang onto the old while embracing the new.

When will I see my friends again? Is it easy to keep in contact without attending the same school? How much or little must I talk to others to maintain the bonds I cherish at the moment?

I’m a very sentimental person, so these concerns really hit me hard. Today I said goodbye to my best friend, and although I tried to make it more of a see ya soon (since I’ll be at his school Saturday), I still can’t help but to get kind of choked up. Nothing makes me smile more than being with my best friend in the whole wide world (who really is more like family to my brother and I), and it bothers me that I can’t just grab my car keys and meet him for lunch or to go shop somewhere on a whim. Everyone’s on their own agenda now. That sense of familiarity and security is so faint.

However, there is a bright side to all of this - the familiarity isn’t completely gone. What I become more thankful for every day is that Chicago happens to be so close to where I live and where my closest friends go to school. If I’m really homesick, I can hope on a train for cheap last minute. I can still come home and celebrate my birthday with family and friends (classes start at UChicago on my birthday, so I think a celebration is very much called for on the weekend) - I don’t have to worry about how other people will be able to meet up with me all that much. And luckily, I feel that the people I have made close bonds with actually want to see me and have my company at some point over the next year - if it weren’t for that, I know I wouldn’t be going to the Michigan football game on Saturday. No one in my family has any association with the schools here, so I’m going mainly for a good college football experience, and to be in the company of great friends.

I feel, and hope, that I have nothing to worry about, though. I need to have the mentality that my true friends will want to see me and will also make an effort to contact me, too. But also, there are so many weekends and breaks where I can come home and hang out with people, at some point we will meet again - I mean, there’s also always next summer, and hopefully I’ll have an internship or something of that sort, but I want to fill the days with the company of my close high school friends.

For now though, while I might have spikes of happiness and sadness throughout the next couple weeks, I’m going to do my best to keep my mind in this positive direction, and I know my family will support me and help set me straight, too.

"What are you still angry about? Yes, government still exists. We still have traffic lights. We’re sorry. Not everybody defines freedom as the ability to not pay taxes. Government isn’t perfect, but some people wish it was better, not gone. This whole process has been like you’re in a bank, it’s a negotiation where you got some hostages, and after getting everything you wanted you’re still going ‘Oh, and one last demand, I still get to kill the hostages right?’"

� Jon Stewart (The Daily Show) commenting on Tea Partiers (via chrissy-marie)

Too smart

Epic WTFs, Directionally Challenged

smh america